This is just me having PCD.
Happy 1 week since The Dream Show 2 in Manila! I offer you my post-concert emotions and photos.
I started really getting into NCT in 2018 during their Empathy era. Baby Don’t Stop was my national anthem. (Feel free to judge me now just by that, HAHA.) Imagine vibing to a song with just two members in it and later on finding out they actually have 18 – and even more now. I don’t remember what exactly was it that had me drawn to them but I do recall retweeting Chenle’s Halloween picture as Pennywise because he is the epitome of the two Cs I fall for: cute and crazy. I told myself then that I’m adopting this kid.
And I adopted his 6 best friends with him. [Insert “strictly sold as set, do not separate” meme.]
Later that same year, I went to Korea to have a pilgrimage trip for Wanna One during the release of their last album before disbandment; them being a project group and all. I wanted to take it all in from the source. Partly as some sort of goodbye.
There were three moments from that trip that are heavily ingrained in my brain:
The feeling I had in Coco Capitan’s exhibit.
Going to Busan, Park Woojin’s hometown, for the first time. And trying (and failing) not to cry in a restaurant that decided that ‘Spring Breeze’ is the perfect background music to eat curry katsu to.
Spontaneously visiting SMTOWN Museum & Store at the same week of Regulate album’s release (that I honestly didn’t know about), and enjoying it SO MUCH.
So not only did I get Wanna One’s Power of Destiny album, I also took home with me a Haechan cover of NCT 127’s Regulate. What was intendedly my closure to W1 had me opening my eyes (pun intended) to another group. I wouldn’t want to brand NCT as my rebound group, but they were. They really were. Simon speaking the truth when he said that they’re a real vibe killer!
That whole year I just kept convincing myself that they’re just fun dudes that are fun to watch, I’m not stanning them. Especially not NCT Dream. I’m not falling for another group with an expiration date. I’m not that dumb and I can’t take any take more of that. I’m not a masochist.
*whispers* Well, maybe I am. Maybe I am all of that.
The Dreamies debuted as kids in between the ages of 14 to 17. Spent their literal youth together. It was their concept after all – to remain as a member at the prime of their youth, and to graduate from the group once you’ve “come of age.” Said concept was a hell of an emotional warfare. Both for them and the fans.
So 2020 was a fever dream. Every dreamzen remembers exactly what they were doing when SM finally announced that not only are they scrapping the graduation system, but that they’re also bringing Mark back. That 6Dream live during Ridin’ promotions where Mark showed himself on the screen just when the live was about to end… [screaming, crying, throwing up.] IS THIS THE REAL LIFE, IS THIS JUST FANTASY?! moment (And I literally ALMOST threw up because I was doing jump rope in the garage while the live plays on the iPad in front of me. Core memory.)
Fast forward to last weekend. In A Dream.
I’ve been living in a dream since.
My Youth was (and is) Chenle’s favorite Dream song (and the Dreamies would often mention it.) It is mine’s as well. In particular, it is this exact performance that I love. The one where they sang it live in Haechan Radio and you could just see how happy they are to be promoting together again.
NCT Dream is my youth. They grew up together, and I grew up with them.
I am still very much fixed on my TDS2 conclusion that as much as I love the Dreamies, the years have proven that they will forever love each other more.
So I just thank them for being as they are. For sharing their youth.
I thank them for all the memories. My youth.
TDS2 was supposedly my retirement concert. I would still love them and listen to them and support them, but prior to last weekend, I have come to terms that it wouldn’t sadden me anymore if I didn’t get to catch the next one or something like that. I just really NEEDED to see them as seven. But Chenle couldn’t make it to the Manila-SG stop – as to why I keep mentioning him. I MISS MY CHILD. TERRIBLY. So scratch that bring it back, I guess I just have to live a little longer. See you at the encore and/or TDS3!
Longing for the day I see our 7 shining stars in one stage,
Louise